Disclaimers: The usual drill...I don’t own ‘em...blah, blah, blah. I’m just
borrowing them for a bit. Stay away if you are underage. I mean it!
Words between asterisks *.....* are thoughts.
It’s 2300 hours on a Tuesday evening, and Sandrines is deserted--one of
those rare evenings where the holographic characters outnumber the
“Tom,” Harry yawned. “It’s getting late, so I’m taking off.”
“Come on, Harry. Stick around,” Tom pleaded, looking at his best friend with
wide, doleful eyes. “Can’t we talk a little while longer?”
“Listen, Tom. I’d love to stay, get drunk with you and bitch about the
problems with your love life, but I have bridge duty tomorrow, bright and
early. The Captain would not be pleased if I reported for duty with a
hangover,” Harry reasoned. “You’re the one with the day off tomorrow,
remember? You can afford to get stinking drunk!”
“Harry....just a few more minutes...Please!” Tom decided to put all dignity
aside and beg his friend to stay. He just couldn’t face being alone right now.
Then Tom started to cry.
“Tom, you’re really drunk!” Harry smirked. “You always get this way when
you drink too much. You need to go to bed.” Harry walked around the table
and helped his friend to his feet. “Let’s get you back to your quarters so you
can sleep it off. Up you go!”
As Tom was assisted to his feet, Commander Chakotay silently approached
the two men from behind. He gently tapped Harry on the shoulder.
“Geez!!,” exclaimed Harry, as he whipped around to see who was there.
“Commander, you scared the shit out of me! Where did you come from?”
While Harry calmed himself, the drunken pilot slid back into his chair like a
jellyfish--all substance, no form.
“Sorry, Ensign,” Chakotay said stiffly. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I
just thought I could be of some help with Tom.” Chakotay was trying his
best to maintain control of his speech functions and to stop his strong
desire to sway back and forth. He was a little drunk himself--okay, a lot
drunk. Like Tom, he didn’t want to go home--not yet anyway. He had
overheard the friends’ conversation and figured that he and Tom could have
a couple more rounds before calling it a night.
Chakotay placed his hand on Tom’s shoulder and leaned against the pilot
sitting in the chair to steady himself. Feeling more in control, he said, “I tell
you what, Harry. Why don’t I help Mr. Paris back to his quarters. Somehow
I think it will be a long, drawn out process and you need to get some sleep
since you’re on the Alpha shift tomorrow. I happen to have tomorrow off, so
it doesn’t matter what time I get to bed.” Chakotay paused, taking a breath.
“What do you think?” he asked expectantly.
Harry looked thoughtfully at his superior officer. Something didn’t seem
quite right with him, but who was he to question the second in command.
“Okay, Commander,” Harry conceded. “Sounds like a good idea to me.” Harry
was relieved by the Commander’s suggestion, but also felt guilty about
leaving his friend when he was so drunk. He had to admit to himself that he
hated it when Tom got drunk because everything seemed to work in slow
motion. It would take at least two hours to get the pilot home and in bed.
Right now, all he wanted to do was get some shut-eye. “Commander, are you
sure you’ll be all right?” he asked.
“Yes, Ensign. We’ll be just fine,” Chakotay confirmed. “Isn’t that right,
“Sure, Commander,” Tom said nonchalantly, trying to appear less intoxicated
than he really was. “I told you, Harry. I’m not ready to leave yet. Now that
I have someone else to talk to, I’ll be fine.”
“Well then, I’ll see you later,” Harry said as he turned to leave Sandrines.
“Pool? Tomorrow night?” he asked his melancholy friend.
“Sure, Harry. That sounds great.” Tom tried to sound upbeat.
“See you tomorrow,” Harry said to Tom. Turning to Chakotay he asked,
“You’ll take good care of him, won’t you?”
“Yes, Harry. Don’t worry. He’ll be fine.”
*I sure hope so.* Harry thought, as he left Sandrines. He stopped at the
holodeck control panel and entered a few commands. “That should help,” he
said aloud, though no one was around to hear. He smiled to himself as he
walked down the corridor to his quarters. *I think I can sleep easier now.*
Sandrine walked up to the table and handed Tom a tissue. Tom smiled
warmly at his holographic friend, blew his nose noisily and wiped the tears
from his cheeks. “You take such good care of me, Sandrine,” he said
tenderly. “What would I do without you.”
“Mon cherie,” she replied teasingly. “You would quickly find a replacement,
“You could never be replaced, my dear,” Tom stated forcefully, watching the
lifelike recreation walk behind the bar. How he wished that he could talk to
the real Sandrine. She knew what made him tick and could always make him
Chakotay sat down in a chair across from the younger man, watching his
companion carefully. The two men were the only ones left in the bar.
Chakotay was grateful, because he was not in the mood to be socially proper.
He had been in a gray funk for the last couple of days and needed to find his
way out. Somehow he knew that the dispirited man sitting across from him
“Tom,” Chakotay said. “Have you ever been to a pity party?”
“A what?” Tom sputtered as he returned his thoughts to the present.
“A pity party,” replied Chakotay. “You know, where you bitch to each other
about the troubles in our lives for a couple of hours. It’s a way of clearing
your soul, so you can move on with your life. No topic is taboo.
Anything--and I mean anything--can be said and we each promise to keep
what is said to ourselves.”
Tom was intrigued by this concept. He was having trouble getting over
B’Elanna, his heart still feeling raw over the break-up. Maybe this would
help. “We can say anything?” Tom repeated. “You won’t use what I say
“No way, Tom. What you say to me, stays with me. No one else will ever
know what you say.”
“Let’s do it!” Tom said excitedly. “Sandrine, bring us another round of
beer--and keep it coming!”
“Computer. Privacy lock. Chakotay alpha 2-0.”
“Where do we start?” asked Tom, suddenly anxious to see what the older
man had to say about what was bothering him.
Chakotay thought for a minute. Since he was the one that brought up the
idea, he decided to go first. Besides, he was about to explode from his
pent-up emotions. He had no one to talk to besides the Captain, and she was
the one he wanted to talk about. “I’ll go first,” he stated. “Kathryn is a
cold-hearted bitch and a cock-tease!”
Tom promptly spewed his beer across the table, hitting Chakotay dead-on in
his face and chest. “Geez, Chakotay! Give a guy some warning!” he
stammered as he tried to think of something else to say.
Chakotay took the edge of his sleeve and wiped his face, laughing at the
shocked look on the blonde’s face. “Well, it’s true,” he said
matter-of-factly. “It only took me 6 years to figure it out. I feel so
stupid!” Chakotay downed the remaining beer in his glass. Sandrine
promptly replaced the empties with fresh ones. “I have wasted a lot of
time, waiting for her to soften up. She is still as hard as ice and has no
intention of thawing.”
“Soooo,” Tom began, wondering how much the Commander was willing to tell
him. “Did you two ever....???”
“No,” Chakotay admitted sadly. “Not that I didn’t try. On New Earth, I
tried every move I could think of to take our relationship to a higher level.
Okay, I mean sex. It was the perfect set of conditions. I even built her a
damn tub--just for her pleasure--and nothing. My hand and I are definitely
on good terms. See?” Chakotay said, pointing to his right hand. “I’ve got
calluses to prove it! I’ve become a ‘master’ at masturbating!” Chakotay, in
his drunken haze, smiled to himself at his witty humor.
Tom groaned. “Gods, Chakotay. Too much information!!” Then Tom started
to chuckle. Tom held out his right hand and the two men perused each
other’s hands, empathetically understanding what the other was going
through. After a few moments, Tom asked, “So what made you finally
realize that she was never going to sleep with you?”
“Last week we had the ‘Dear John’ conversation. She felt our relationship
‘transcended’ sex and that we’ve gone beyond the need for physical
intimacy.” Chakotay began laughing, but Tom could see his heart breaking.
Chakotay looked into Tom’s eyes and saw that he wasn’t fooling the younger
man with his false bravado and said dejectedly, “Bottomline is that there is
to be no sex, no way, no how.” That was something that Chakotay just
“What did you say to her?” Tom inquired carefully.
“Oh, I was very eloquent! I told her that she was a fucking bitch and that
she deserved to be alone!” Chakotay paused, looking soulfully into his beer.
“I then stomped out of her quarters and we’ve never talked about it again.
The sad thing about it is that I don’t think she even cared. She got what
she wanted--or didn’t want, and she’s happy. The problem is that I’m not. I
can’t seem to move on. Why am I in love with someone who can’t love me
Tom looked sympathetically at the older man. He understood all to well what
Chakotay was going through. One day B’Elanna announced that their
relationship wouldn’t work and she left him. Just like that. She never
glanced back. That was a month ago, and Tom was still praying that she
would come back to him. “I know what you mean, Chakotay.” Now it was
Tom’s turn to stare thoughtfully into his beer. He sighed and downed the
rest of his beer. “Sandrine. Another.” Then Tom looked at Chakotay and
said, “If you can figure it out, let me know. I would love to get the albatross
named B’Elanna off my back. I just can’t get over her, but she clearly has no
interest in me!” Tom’s eyes teared as he tried to control his emotions. *I
am such a cry-baby when I’m drunk!*
“Why don’t you tell me about it,” Chakotay prompted.
“I really don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “It was like a switch was
flipped off and she just stopped loving me. Maybe she never loved me at all
and she just got tired of acting like she did. The problem is,” Tom paused,
“I wasn’t acting. I am in love with her...” Tom started to cry again. “Gods,
Chakotay!” he groaned. “I am such a pathetic drunk!”
Tom placed his head on the table, his arms around his head, and started to
shake. Chakotay reached across the table, placing his hand on the young
man’s head, trying to comfort the obviously distressed pilot. “It’ll be okay,
Tom. Just let it out,” he soothed.
Tom looked up at the older man. He was not crying at all. He was laughing
hysterically. “I just ... listened to... myself for the first ... time since the...
break-up,” he hiccuped, while trying to control the laughter. “Maybe it’s the
real alcohol talking, but suddenly I see B’Elanna for what she is. For the
first time, I don’t want her back. I think the B’Elanna I thought I knew isn’t
real and the B’Elanna I see now is real. I don’t think I like the real B’Elanna
Chakotay wasn’t buying what Tom was selling. “Maybe the real B’Elanna is
someone in between,” he ventured.
“That may be true,” Tom allowed. “But I just don’t understand why she can’t
Tom and Chakotay continued talking for 2 more hours, bitching about
ex-loves and other varied topics, all the while downing several more beers as
the evening progressed. Once again, the topic turned to sex.
“So, what is your favorite position,” Chakotay asked slyly.
“I like being on my back, with my woman straddling me. That way I don’t
have to do a lot of the work and I have a great view.” Tom’s eyes sparkled as
he watched the other man’s reaction.
Chakotay laughed, nodding his head as his imagination ran wild.
“How about you?” Tom inquired.
“I like a blow job the best. Nothing gets me off more that watching
someone go down on me.”
“That’s good too,” Tom agreed wholeheartedly. Tom grinned wickedly and
asked, “What is the wildest thing you’ve ever done?”
Chakotay paused, smiling in return. “There are so many to choose from...,” he
lied, then paused. “Seriously, I’m pretty traditional in my sexual habits. Not
that it was particularly my choosing, but my partners were never really
interested in exploring the baser side of intimacy,” he explained. “I would
have to say that the wildest time was when my girlfriend and I had sex in
the bathroom of Admiral Stewart’s shuttle, while the old man was just a
cabin away. I was so nervous--I was surprised I could even get it up! It was
one hell of a thrill ride for a 24 year old Ensign.” Chakotay smiled brightly
as he remember Amelia, the warmth of her skin, the curve of her breasts.
Chakotay snapped out of his reverie. “So what about you?” he asked Tom.
Tom blushed furiously. “Ummm.... I don’t think I can say.” He dropped his
eyes, so he couldn’t see the look in Chakotay’s eyes. He knew that he would
die of embarrassment and he hadn’t even said a word yet.
“Come on, Tom. Spill it!” Chakotay urged. “You know the rules. I won’t say a
thing. Your secret is safe with me.” *Please, Tom, tell me... please, please,
please... This has got to be good!*
Tom shivered. “There was this one lover...we would...I mean he would...” Tom
“He???” Chakotay stammered.
“Yes, he!” Tom replied. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing!” Chakotay stated quickly. “It’s just that you’re such a ladies man.
I had no idea that you dated men...”
“I do prefer women, I think. However, the sex was very hot with Peter.”
Tom was glowing as he remembered his first male lover.
“I don’t consider having a male lover as being ‘wild’,” Chakotay pressed. “I’ve
had a few male lovers. You’ll have to do better than that.”
Tom smiled. “It wasn’t the fact that he was male that was wild, it was what
we did that made it memorable!”
Chakotay was dying to find out what happened between the two men. “Spill,
Tom. What did you do!”
“Gods, this is embarrassing!” Tom murmured. “We, umm, he spanked me.
Hard. Sometimes he paddled me.” Tom paused, then said “It was the most
erotic thing I’ve ever done!”
Chakotay’s mouth fell open as he stared in awe at the pilot. *Oh my gods! I
am getting so hard!* Chakotay moaned and reached for his groin, trying to
release some of the tension that was building.
“I see you agree,” Tom chuckled, now getting as hard as his commander.
“Have you ever tried it?”
“No,” Chakotay said quietly. “I’m not so sure I’d like it.” *You are a damn liar,
Chakotay. Be honest with yourself for a change. You are harder than you’ve
ever been just thinking about it!*
“Are you sure you don’t want to try it?” Tom urged. *Please, please want to
“Well...” Chakotay started. “I suppose I could give it a try....what do you
have in mind?”
*Handprints all over your ass, big man!* Then Tom spoke aloud, “Why don’t
we give it a try, tonight, the two of us, right here. No one will know what
we’ve done. It’ll be our secret. Besides, I think you’ll enjoy it.”
Something needed to be done and fast. Chakotay’s cock was screaming to be
released from the confined of his trousers. “Okay, let’s do it!” *I must
really be drunk!*
Both men downed their last beers and jumped up, quickly stripping
themselves of their clothes. They looked at each other, each clearly
aroused, enjoying the view, waiting for the other to take the initiative.
Finally Tom spoke. “The natives are watching and getting restless.” He
motioned to the various holocharacter as they stared in shock at the two
naked men. “Computer, change the holoprogram to Paris gamma 6.”
Suddenly the surrounding area changed to a sparsely decorated living room,
with a full length couch. “I thought this would be more comfortable,” Tom
said as he sat down on the couch. “Why don’t you come over here and lay
across my lap,” he asked tentatively.
“I thought...I mean...” Chakotay stuttered. Chakotay calmed down enough to
articulate his thoughts. “I thought I would spank you,” he said innocently.
Tom chuckled. “No way, Chakotay. I know what it’s like to be spanked. Now
it’s your turn to find out!”
Chakotay blushed. It was the first time he has ever seen the older man
embarrassed enough to glow with that particular shade of red. He looked
like he was about to implode from embarrassment. “I don’t know if I can do
it,” he muttered helplessly.
Tom stood up and walked to where the big man was standing. He reached for
him and gave him a tender hug. Then he place both hands on the sides of
Chakotay’s face and drew him in for a loving kiss. Chakotay responded by
circling his arms around the young man, drawing him closer, allowing their
erections to meet for the first time. Tom broke away from the embrace,
took Chakotay by the hand, and led him to stand by the couch. Tom sat back
down and gently eased Chakotay to his knees. He motioned to Chakotay to
lean over his legs. It was unpleasant at first, but finally Chakotay found a
comfortable position, his erection poking between the muscular thighs of the
younger man, ass in position waiting for the slaps he knew were to come.
Tom gently rubbed the soft cheeks of the older man. “Are you ready, Cha?”
he ask gently. *This is crazy! I’m about to spank my commanding officer! I
think someone must have slipped an aphrodisiac into the beer! Or I’m having
a drunken hallucination. Where are the pink elephants!?!?!*
“Yeah, I think so,” he murmured. “I’m ready.” *Gods, this is gonna hurt! But
Tom’s hands feel great on my butt...*
Tom placed his left hand under Chakotay’s upper body, helping him to
support his weight. He knew the vulnerable man’s arms would probably go
limp as the spanking progressed. Once Tom was in position, he began with a
light slap, then another, then another--each increasing in strength. Chakotay
began to squirm. “Are you all right?” Tom asked. *Damn, I really hate doing
this. How can anyone get off on hitting someone like this?*
“Yes---keep going,” Chakotay gasped. *Gods, I hate this. Where’s the
thrill? How can anyone get off on this?*
Tom continued to spank Chakotay, each swat increasing in intensity.
Handprints covered the dark-skinned man, his cheeks inflamed from the
continually abuse from Tom’s hand. Suddenly, Tom heard an ominous growl
coming from Chakotay. His hand ceased it’s actions, coming to rest on the
burning flesh of his Commander. “What the..?!?!?!” Tom exclaimed.
Chakotay reared up off the lap of his tormentor and kneeled beside the
couch. As he quickly sat back on the couch he pulled Tom forcefully across
his lap before the younger man knew what was happening. “This is more like
it!” Chakotay said triumphantly. Chakotay gently rubbed his hand across
Tom’s cheeks. “Tell me what you want, Tom.” *Please want this, Tom.*
*I can’t believe this! This is fantastic!* Tom just moaned.
“Tom, what do you want! Tell me!” Chakotay ordered.
“Spank me. Spank me hard! I want...I need...I’m so hot...”
That was all Chakotay needed to hear. He began lightly swatting the
younger man’s clenched buttocks, feeling their hardness. *Gods, his ass is
beautiful!* Chakotay increased the strength of the swats, feeling the burn
in his hand, watching the marks his hand made on the pilot’s pale skin.
Chakotay distributed the slaps evenly between the cheeks, not
concentrating on any specific area. *I don’t think I’ve seen a more beautiful
Tom began to moan, squirming, trying to increase the friction on his
engorged cock. *Damn the man! I can’t stand this...this pleasure!* “More,”
Tom begged. “More, damn it! Harder! Faster...”
Tom stopped begging as the intensity increased and began moaning and
cursing deliriously. *If I die now, I’ll die happy!*
Chakotay knew Tom was close to coming. What surprised him the most was
that he was just as close without being touched. *This is the most erotic
thing I’ve ever done!* Chakotay moved his thighs closer together, lightly
trapping the younger man’s erection, giving Tom access to the friction he
desperately needed. Chakotay felt Tom tense, sensing that he was nearing
his climax. With one final swat, Tom began to come, forcefully, screaming
out his pleasure for all to hear. Chakotay reached for his own erection,
stroking it twice, arching his back and giving way as his own strong orgasm
Tom was lying bonelessly across the big man’s lap, not seeming to care about
the vulnerability of the position. Chakotay pulled him into his arms and
placed him by his side on the couch. The younger man winced as he sat on
the cushion. Chakotay chastised himself for his insensitivity. “Tom, why
don’t you lie down on the couch--on your stomach. I’ll be right back.”
Chakotay stood up and Tom complied without a sound. Chakotay walked to
the computer panel and replicated a tube of ointment. He walked back to
Tom and knelt by the sated man. “Tom,” he asked. “Are you okay?”
“Tom, talk to me,” he urged. “Did I hurt you?”
“Yes...” he cooed. “I mean no...I mean...that was fantastic, Chakotay!”
Chakotay let out the breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He looked
at the naked pilot lying on the couch, complete with fiery red buttocks,
glistening from head to toe with a thin layer of sweat. Chakotay unscrewed
the cap on the ointment and applied a thin layer, cooling the heat emanating
from the bruised and swollen tissue.
“Oooh, that feels good,” Tom sighed. “Chakotay, you have gentle hands.
Janeway is an idiot!”
Chakotay chuckled at his seemingly contrary statement. “How can you say
that I’m gentle? I just beat your ass, causing you a lot of pain and
discomfort, yet you say I’m gentle. That doesn’t make sense, Tom.”
Chakotay continued to smooth the ointment onto the tender skin.
“Chakotay, you didn’t hurt me. You did what I wanted and you brought me
pleasure. And now...” Tom choked on the words. “Now, you’re taking care of
me--making sure I’m all right. Not many people take the time to do this.
Peter would immediately grab a regenerator and ‘bam’--we were through.
Thank you for making this so special.”
Chakotay didn’t know what to say. He continued his ministrations, finally
saying “Tom, you are a wonderful person. I want to thank you for opening my
eyes to ‘other’ possibilities.” Chakotay grinned from ear to ear. “Suddenly
my world doesn’t seem as hopeless as it did before. You are a terrific
“You’re a terrific student--definitely a quick learner, as my backside will
testify to.” Tom looked back at Chakotay and smiled warmly. “By the way,
how are you doing? I toasted your bottom pretty good!”
“I’m doing fine--a little sore, but I’m not complaining!” Chakotay proclaimed.
“You’re not complaining now, but you sure were agitated at the time!” Tom
quipped. “Gods, I never knew you could move so fast--for an old man, that
Chakotay just laughed, enjoying the moment with the young man. After a
couple more minutes of massage, he asked, “Tom, do you want me to get the
“No, Cha, not right now. I would like to feel this for a while. Ask me again
tomorrow. I like a little pain, but 8 hours of wiggling at the helm would be a
Chakotay pictured in his mind the pilot at the helm, squirming to get
comfortable, knowing that it was his hand that caused the discomfort. He
started to get hard again and stood up, needing to break the intimate
contact. “Ummm, Tom. I think we’d better get back to our quarters. I’m
not sure we should have any more ‘excitement’ tonight.”
Tom looked at the big man’s growing erection and grinned. “Maybe you’re
right, Chakotay. Let’s get dressed.” He stood up and walked by the older
man, pausing briefly to give the man’s cock a gentle squeeze.
“Not so fast,” Chakotay ordered as he pulled the younger man into his arms.
“Don’t start what you don’t want to finish!”
“Oh, no trouble there, Commander. I always finish what I start...” The rest
of the words were lost in a kiss.
“What the hell have we done, Chakotay,” Tom said while cocooned in
Chakotay’s strong arms, lying in the Commander’s bed.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t regret it.” Chakotay smiled and pulled the younger
man closer to his body.
“I don’t regret it either, but...” Tom was cut off as Chakotay rolled on top
of him, planting a chaste kiss on his lips.
“We both are on the rebound, Tom, and I’m not going to profess my undying
love to you. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but I’m not willing
to say it.” Chakotay stopped speaking, trying to read the expression of the
man trapped beneath him. “How do you feel about that?” Chakotay asked
Tom exhaled loudly. “Relieved...,” he sighed. “I don’t know what I feel right
now, but I do know that I’ve taken a big step towards healing. I think I’m
going to be all right and I can move on--without B’Elanna.”
Chakotay smiled warmly. “I feel the same way, Tom. Suddenly Kathryn’s
rejection doesn’t seem like the end of the world.” Chakotay continued the
kissing, keeping it gentle and loving.
When the kissing stopped, Tom asked “Do you think it was the alcohol? Did
it make us act that way?”
“I don’t think I was very drunk, Tom. I was earlier in the evening while
talking to Harry, but the more I drank, the less impaired I felt.”
“You know, I feel the same way....” Tom said suspiciously. “Computer, access
the files for Holodeck 2 from 1100 to 1130 hours.”
“Were any changes made to the program?”
“What changes were made.”
“Synthehol was substituted for alcohol.”
“Who programmed the change?”
“Ensign Harry Kim.”
“That rat!” Tom laughed. “I’ll make him pay for that.”
“I think corporal punishment might be in order--don’t you?” Chakotay
“Absolutely,” Tom agreed wholeheartedly as he pulled the man down for
another delicate kiss.
After a few minutes of pleasant exploration, Chakotay broke away. “Maybe
we should tell the doctor of our cure for a broken heart,” he said teasingly.
“Don’t you dare, Chakotay!” Tom said, as pushed the older man off of him
and onto his side. “Let’s just keep this our secret!”
“Whatever you say, Tom. Your wish is my command,” murmured Chakotay.
Neither man wanted to further interrupt the tranquillity of their embrace.
Finally, they drifted into a peaceful sleep for the first time in weeks,
comforted by knowing that the healing has finally begun.
Copyright August 2001
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